Beginning of March

March 1, 2012

The world makes me smile—and cry.  Seems like I’ve always been looking for the ‘something’ that gives it all meaning.  Or more honestly, that gives me meaning and worth.

God is what/who I call that ‘something’ and I’m startled to find myself not just a worshiping Christian, but a clergy person.  Amazing grace!?

My story is simple and typical, only the details are completely my own.  We all search and struggle in many ways.  People like me reach for answers that are probably unknowable.  I call out to God as the place of answers, or at least the place where I will find complete acceptance of myself and the way things are. And despite or because of all of my questions and doubts, I have realized that I do have faith in that God.

I write here hoping to find others who have faith and doubts, and who enjoy exploring ideas.  I don’t believe there is a right or wrong—we each must find our own way based on our understanding and experience.  But I’m tired of doing it alone, so I hope you’ll join me in the conversation.

March 7, 2012

I’m too busy.  I’m bored.  I’m tired.  I don’t have anything to do.  I’m lonely but I want to be alone.  All in all, it’s not a great day and I don’t have the energy or focus to change my attitude.  Sigh.  Could it maybe be okay to grump and let time pass? 

March 11, 2012

Daylight savings time ended.  I didn’t expect many people in church today, but there they were and it was good.  The people here have grown and changed in the year I’ve been with them.  There is a solid, quiet faith that is visceral—you can feel it when you get out of your car.  The trees are budding, birds are chirping and there is a stillness that can be felt beyond the typical neighborhood sounds.

This is holy ground.  I forget that in the rush of working and doing.  And it catches me every time.  Holy ground.  Be still and know that I am God.