Friday, May 25, 2012

My Story, pt. 1


I don’t remember a time when I felt safe.  The rules seemed to shift continually and I remember searching for quiet hidden places.

And I remember talking/thinking to whatever/whoever ‘out there’ who could love me and teach me.  I just knew that there was somehow a creator-lover-something beyond what I experienced.

It took a lot of hard years to name God and to begin a relationship of listening and praying.  I was a lost soul (we were called hippies way back then…).   I didn’t know much about right or wrong except by instinct and I tried anything that looked remotely interesting.  Addiction, mostly to (red) wine finally conquered any sense that I had of being in control of my life.

People from my past often describe me as adventurous and courageous.  I traveled a lot, left Ohio and landed in the San Francisco Bay area, and made a financial success of a career in insurance and finance. And I learned to drink better (red) wines in the name of good client relations.

My life looked good—a house in a wealthy suburb, a successful career, nice car, world travel.  Mostly, though, what I remember is fear and emptiness and hopelessness.

And still I ‘talked’ or pleaded to the great whatever that was ‘out there.’









P.S. Hey folks!  Several of you have been emailing in response to these blogs. You can respond to these blogs on the blog site.  Click on comments.  That way others can see your thoughts and maybe we can have a conversation. 

No comments:

Post a Comment