My Story, Pt. 2

One Friday evening, at home after a long week, I found myself crawling from my bed to the kitchen looking for anything with alcohol.  With no prior knowledge of alcoholism or recovery programs, I dialed the operator and said I needed help.  Instead of 911, I was connected to the local Alcoholics Anonymous hotline.  After explaining to the nice gentleman on the other end of the line that I couldn’t go to a meeting tonight because I was exhausted from my important work week, he laughed and said he’d meet me the next day at a meeting—and then he hung up!  On ME!  I was so angry that I didn’t drink any more that night and I showed up at the meeting the next day just to show him who was in charge.

Those of you who are familiar with Twelve Step programs can imagine the ups and down down downs of getting and staying sober.  That something ‘out there’ became a Higher Power and then God.  I continued to talk (pray?), tried to listen, mostly did the next thing that seemed right and didn’t drink.

One of the slogans is “Fake it ‘til you make it” and I faked it for years.  Sober, involved.  And terrified.

I faked my way into a relationship with a man who was deeply involved with his church, a 1928 Prayer Book Episcopal church with gorgeous stained glass, glorious music, chanting, incense, elaborate ceremony and vestments…  I was hooked.  No more relationship but oh, learning about church and Jesus and God was wonderful.

Not that I really believed any of it (still faking it).  But Christianity connected me to a larger and acceptable community; gave me some new rules to structure a better life and somehow I felt safer.  And so I was baptized, confirmed, and I am now an Episcopal priest (who now believes and isn’t faking much of anything any more).

When I try to figure out how it all happened, my conclusion is “God got me.”

Hey folks!  Several of you have been emailing in response to these blogs. You can respond to these blogs on the blog site.  Click on comments.  That way others can see your thoughts and maybe we can have a conversation.